Fastest jokes
Who are the fastest readers on Earth?
The pilots flying the 9/11 planes. They went through 6 stories in 5 seconds.
What is the fastest cake in the world?
Scone.
Who are the fastest readers ever? 9/11 victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
Little Jonny Bad Ass was sitting on a porch one day, and a preacher was in the house. Little Jonny Bad Ass had to use the bathroom, so he bangs on the door saying, "Mom, I have to use the bathroom!" His mom says wait. So Little Jonny Bad Ass saw a hat on the step. He looks around, pulls his pants down, and shits in the hat.
A few later, the preacher comes out and says, "I see you have my hat!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Yeah, I caught the world's fastest bird!" The preacher says, "Well, let me see him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "No, I don't know." Well, the preacher says, "I'll put my hands by the hat, you lift, and I'll catch him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass lifted the hat and the preacher clapped his hands, and Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Now see the bird don't shit," and ran.
My local hacker contacted me and told me that he hacked my computer.
I responded, “Show me proof.” He provided the username and password for my email account, bank account, video game accounts, and social media accounts. To be honest, that is the fastest “Forgot Password” procedure I’ve ever done.
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims.
What's the city with the fastest growing population?
Ireland, cuz it's Dublin everyday!
Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.
What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
Who are the fastest readers of all time?
People who jumped out of the Twin Towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.
Who are the fastest readers?
The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.
Why are planes the fastest readers? Because they went through 100 stories in 20 seconds.
Sonic can run around the world in a second. I can do it in 0.5, but Chuck Norris has already done it before us.
Who reads the fastest?
The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.