Fastest jokes
I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
My local hacker contacted me and told me that he hacked my computer.
I responded, “Show me proof.” He provided the username and password for my email account, bank account, video game accounts, and social media accounts. To be honest, that is the fastest “Forgot Password” procedure I’ve ever done.
“Who are the fastest readers in the world?”
“The 9/11 pilots, they did 30 stories in 7 seconds.”
Memes
Why did the fastest cat get kicked out of school?
He was a cheetah.
Little Jonny Bad Ass was sitting on a porch one day, and a preacher was in the house. Little Jonny Bad Ass had to use the bathroom, so he bangs on the door saying, "Mom, I have to use the bathroom!" His mom says wait. So Little Jonny Bad Ass saw a hat on the step. He looks around, pulls his pants down, and shits in the hat.
A few later, the preacher comes out and says, "I see you have my hat!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Yeah, I caught the world's fastest bird!" The preacher says, "Well, let me see him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "No, I don't know." Well, the preacher says, "I'll put my hands by the hat, you lift, and I'll catch him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass lifted the hat and the preacher clapped his hands, and Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Now see the bird don't shit," and ran.
What is the fastest cake in the world?
Scone.
What's the fastest way to Shepherd's Bush?
Up Shepherd's leg.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims.
What's the Fastest 20000 Meter Dash a Human Can Run?
Who are the fastest readers?
911 victims, they went through 72 stories in less than 10 seconds.
Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!
Who are the fastest readers? Nine-eleven victims, because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
Okay class, who can tell me who the fastest readers are?
The pilots of 9/11 went through the Twin Towers, 6 in 3 seconds.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?
They can go through 100 floors in 7 seconds.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.
What's the fastest cake? Scone!