What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
Spider-Man, because it told them there was no way home.
Little Johnny ran into the kitchen and asked his mother, "Mom, can little girls have babies?" His mom answered, "Of course not." A few minutes later, his mom heard him shout to his friend, "It's okay, we can keep playing!"
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.
Me: Hey, are your parents home?
Orphan: (crying) Stop calling here!
Alabama.
Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
No sun.
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.
What do you call children born from incest?
Gross Domestic Product.
My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.
My dad brought me some sunglasses, but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.
What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.
Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."
What's a joke that an orphan has never heard before?
A dad joke.
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf.
So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.
I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."
