Family jokes
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
Why can't orphans play catch?
Because they don't have parents to catch the ball.
Your grandma is pretty old; she'll die soon.
My son always said he wanted to skydive, so we went on a plane, and mid-flight, we had to jump out. The only issue is we were on a commercial flight to Arizona.
My brother said, "Bruh, why you so ugly plus why do you stink?" Me: "Is that supposed to be a roast? I got one for you. Why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother? Instead of her stomach, you came out of her butt. That's why you were born with brown spots on your head. That's her poop, you stupid fuckface." My friends: "Ouch that's gotta hurt."
Hey guys, the prank for today is when I lied about feeling sick so I wouldn't have to go to school.
Introduction: This prank was committed a week ago! Around 5:00 a.m. in the morning!
1. I got out some eggs, milk, salt, and a little bit of mashed olives... well those are the main ingredients.
2. I mixed it all up for about 2 mins just to make it look really like barf...no going to school today!
3. I put it under the sofa just to give it some solid scent to it.
4. I fixed my breakfast eggs and bacon. Then when my mom comes down I...PULL OUT MY FAKE BARF!!!!! News flash make a fake excuse for her to leave! My excuse is "I need something its in my room I don't want to get cause it would waste time".
She fell for it. Then I pull out my FAKE barf which looks like real barf. Then you say or I said "Mom I don't feel so good"! News flash: Don't over sell it think about all that boring school work! and guess what she fell for it so I spend all day doing nothing...absolutely nothing!
Well that's the prank. Anymore pranks you want ask me in the comment section! Byeeeeeeeeeee
How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They tell her to sit in the corner in a circular room.
It’s like I always tell my kids:
"Two in the pink, one in the stink."
What did the parents name their retarded baby? Dimitri
Your dad's a cunt.
Why are orphans called orphans?
'Cause they're gay.
Orphans don’t have parents, lol.
I see you.
Wanna hear a joke? Your dad leaving you, you sad clown!
Orphans are cool.
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
A: One of them gets picked.
Why do orphans always ask Alexa to order milk?
Because their dad never brought it home.
You're so ugly your mom said, "I want an abortion."
Why don't orphans call...
Because they can't call home.
Why don’t orphans have phones?? Because their parents can’t buy them one.