Family jokes
Ya mums, ya dad.
A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."
Ur mama so fat that when she went to the ocean, all the whales started singing, "We are family," even knowing your fatter than me.
Kid: Your mom!
Orphan: I don't have a mom.
"You momo joso fat, she went in the ocean and the whales came up to her and started singing, ""We Are Family"" even though you are father than me."
I bet you eat your cereal with water because your dad never came back with the milk.
Why can't orphans go to the store? Because they throw everything around.
Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not your.
Not your who?
Not your mama!
"Stop bullying me!"
I ear ass your dad's ass and he likes it.
Why can’t orphans go to a field trip?
Parent signature: __________
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it comes back.
My sister said she was as fat as a coconut, so I threw one at her and she was right.
I once gave birth to 3 children.
If you hit 9999 orphans and they all tell each other, are the other orphans their parents???
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Chris Benoit is like a depressed orphan because he killed his family.
Why did your parents abandon you?
Because the first thing you dad said to be was; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE."