Family jokes
Why don’t orphans have phones?? Because their parents can’t buy them one.
Why does my brother have no mom?
If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.
Wanna hear a joke? Your dad leaving you, you sad clown!
I see you.
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
A: One of them gets picked.
You're so ugly your mom said, "I want an abortion."
Why do orphans always ask Alexa to order milk?
Because their dad never brought it home.
Orphans are cool.
Why couldn't the orphanage win the baseball game?
Answer: They couldn't find home base.
We were so poor my dad would give me a penny not to eat supper.
I'd put it under my pillow and while I was sleeping, he would come in and take it. In the morning, he would holler at me for losing the penny.
Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.
Why did Mom cross the road?
To kill you!
Mother: We need to talk about sex...
Jason: Oh, sex, tell me what do you wanna know.
Jason had a big whooping from his mother and big spanking from his dad.
Friend, your mum's fat.
Me: Well, your mum's so fat, she played pool with the planets.
What did the bison say to his son when he left the ranch? Bi-son.
Your dad's a cunt.
How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They tell her to sit in the corner in a circular room.
Why did Morgan’s dad leave her?
She kept making dad jokes.
Why are orphans called orphans?
'Cause they're gay.