Family jokes

Sisters before misters.

I hope you get better.

I love you.

Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.

And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.

Yo mama's so dumb, her dad said, "You're driving me crazy," and she said, "I didn't know crazy was a place!"

I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.

"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"

When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.

Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.

My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!

Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?

A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.

If you're ever bored, jump on Vedanta, what is he going to do, tell his parents? (He probably will.)

I love your mom and dad's joke! They made it together and called it your name.

What is so annoying? A younger sister.

My dad called me as I said I shit in my sister's mouth. Impossible? Nope.

What’s the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

Only the boomerang came back. It’s been 14 years, where’s my dad?

There are two sexes: one with your mother and the other with you.

What's an orphan's favorite sport?

Baseball, because they finally have a home.

The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."

The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."

Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."

Yo daddy so poor, when yo mama ask for sum child support money, yo dad don’t have it! 🤣

A father of a young girl comes to meet the doctor.

Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?

Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.

Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried!

Why don’t orphans have parents?

'Cause they were abandoned.

What does a lesbian call the other during sex?

Mummy.

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were going home and walk home and I got home.