Family jokes

Little Johnny walked in on his mom in the shower and said, "What's that on your chest, Mom?" Mom said, "Those are my headlights." Johnny: "Oh. What's that in between your legs, Mom?" Mom: "Oh, that's my bush." Johnny: "Oh, OK." Next, he walked in on his dad in the shower. He said, "Dad, what's that in between your legs?" Dad: "Oh, that's my snake." Johnny: "Oh, OK." That night, little Johnny walks in on his parents going at it and said, "Mom, turn on his headlights, there's a snake going in your bush!"

When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.

By the way, have you seen my sister?

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't make it home.

When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"

The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.

I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.

Rhydon- son.

Rhydon? - mum.

RHYDON DEEZ NUTS! - son.

Jeez, ur like ur father in bed- mum.

XD

Q: Why can't the orphan buy Robux?

A: He could not use his mother's credit card.

Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.

What has 4 hairy legs and fucks my sister?

Me & my dad!

Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.

Why do orphans play GTA? Because they can’t be wanted.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They never hit home.

If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!

If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.

What’s the only other advantage of being an orphan?

The teacher can’t give you homework.

Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"

What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"

When you're fucking your boss's daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.

I almost got caught watching porn. My mom got the bill for the account, but luckily dad had my back. I mean, we do use the same account.

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

I’m a faux pa.