Family jokes

I just killed a family of five.

Now I’m an orphan.

Why did the orphan kill himself when he found out who his dad was? Because he found out his dad was Donald Trump.

Why can't orphans have sex?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."😳

I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.

What's an orphan's favorite game?

GTA, because they're actually wanted? Lol.

What does a transgender call his/her parent?

Transparent.

One time I was watching TV.

Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!

Me: Omg, really?

Mom: Sike, I lied.

You know I'm not too into black girls, but Kobe's daughter was smoking!

What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?

One is an orphan, and the other is an ore fan.

What do you call your angry French aunt?

A crossaunt.

What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Home made cookies ;)

What's the difference between a dad and the Twin Towers? The Twin Towers went black and never came back, and the dad was black and just didn't come back.

Orphan: What are you doing tonight?

Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.

Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.

What do Joe Biden and orphans have in common?

No one loves them!

What did me and my uncle call hide and seek? Naked and afraid.

My mother was suffering from menstrual pain. So I fucked her for 7 hours to ease her pain. I continued to do so for the next 6 days. Even after fucking her 51 times during her 7-day period, I fucked her 5-6 times a day for the next three months and stopped her period for 9 months! Only her son can understand and ease the pain of a mother.

How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.

I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.

Cousins make dozens.