Family jokes
Why can't orphans have a Christmas list? Because they can't give it to their parents to tell Santa.
Son, why do I not have an Easter basket?
Mom, you're 23, you don't need one. Ends calls, child support.
Your mom was born in a dumpster, as well as you.
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Fat moms.
My honest reaction when my mom said no
What has two names and one big home?
A person.
Your mum's got big tits.
Why was Timmy sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.
Your mom gay.
"Ur Grandma" You think you're funny? Well, sorry, but you're not.
(True story)
One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."
Why are orphans lonely?
Because they don't have parents to talk to.
Why do orphans love dogs?
Because dogs stay with them.
Dad: "I'll be back in a minute."
20 years later
Orphan: "Dad?"
Why can’t orphans have a house pet?
Because its parents have it to itself.
I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.
Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.
So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?
You: I want my mama.
Me: Soz, you can't even get one.
Why do orphans not have parents?
Answer: Their parents are yeet dead dead.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your dad.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it could not find home.