Family jokes

My mom left me at a very young age.

Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods?

I remember my son's last words: "I stubbed my toe!"

Yo momma so fat when she went in the Skeld, she couldn't be ejected.

*Son comes out as gay*

Me: What's 17 more years?

I'm pregnant.

What do you get when you cross mums and makeup?

Beauty!

Why is an orphan like a boomerang? Because they always come back.

You so gay you have a fat sis and?

Why do orphans play tennis?

So they can be loved.

You're adopted, that's why your mom or dad never came back with the milk!

Dmitriy has no mother.

What is something an orphan's phone does not have?

Home buttons.

Why do orphans have an iPhone 10?

Because it doesn't have a joke button.

What’s the difference between the milk and drugs?

My dad brought the drugs back, not the milk though! 😭

My boyfriend's sister is mad because I smashed his girl.

Why did the orphan drop the soap in prison? So he can have a prison daddy.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What is the same thing between apples and orphans?

Apples actually get picked.

Why do orphans not play baseball?

Because they can't make a home run.