Family jokes
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
A wife was cleaning her 12-year-old son’s bedroom when she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asked her husband, “What do we do?”
The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.
Why can orphans not play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?
Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."
Why did the orphan join the baseball team?
Because he knew when he got to third base he could head home.
Yo mama soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 1 hour later ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Why can’t an orphan get arrested?
Because they're not wanted.
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not."
"Not who?"
"Not your dad."
Why did the orphan become gay? Because he wanted to call someone "daddy."
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Q: What type of mother gives their daughter sperm? A: A furry mother.
My sister's boyfriend is pissed cuz I fucked his girl.
Yo momma's so ugly, when she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.
What's a plus side to being an orphan?
Every bag of chips is family size. T - T
Why is an orphan bad at tennis?
'Cause he couldn't get any love.
Did you hear about the orphan that tried to high five a tree? It left her hanging.