Family jokes
What do you call an orphan who can't get 5 stars on GTA?
Not wanted.
I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.
What show can the orphan relate to... Full House.
Fuck you and your shitty family!
I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.
My honest reaction when my mom said no
"Ur Grandma" You think you're funny? Well, sorry, but you're not.
(True story)
One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."
This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."
Why is everyone trying to make a big deal out of this? My family were only flying to Pakistan and crashed into 2 towers.
My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.
The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.
Why did the orphan live at school?
Because on the first day his parents didn’t pick him up.
A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school? Because when the teacher says, "I want to have a parent/teacher conference," they just go about their day.
You: I want my mama.
Me: Soz, you can't even get one.
Why do orphans not have parents?
Answer: Their parents are yeet dead dead.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your dad.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it could not find home.
I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.
Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.
So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?
Why can’t orphans have a house pet?
Because its parents have it to itself.
Why do orphans not love their parents?
Because they don’t have parents.