What's the difference between cancer and my dad?
Cancer is still here. 😂😂😅😅😐😐😪😪😥😥😭😭
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not your.
Not your who?
Not your mama!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home plate is.
I love playing games with my family.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
Why did the orphans have in common? They both don't have parents.
Why can’t orphans go to a field trip?
Parent signature: __________
Yo mama's ass is mad crusty.
My brother said, "Bruh, why you so ugly plus why do you stink?" Me: "Is that supposed to be a roast? I got one for you. Why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother? Instead of her stomach, you came out of her butt. That's why you were born with brown spots on your head. That's her poop, you stupid fuckface." My friends: "Ouch that's gotta hurt."
Hey guys, the prank for today is when I lied about feeling sick so I wouldn't have to go to school.
Introduction: This prank was committed a week ago! Around 5:00 a.m. in the morning!
1. I got out some eggs, milk, salt, and a little bit of mashed olives... well those are the main ingredients.
2. I mixed it all up for about 2 mins just to make it look really like barf...no going to school today!
3. I put it under the sofa just to give it some solid scent to it.
4. I fixed my breakfast eggs and bacon. Then when my mom comes down I...PULL OUT MY FAKE BARF!!!!! News flash make a fake excuse for her to leave! My excuse is "I need something its in my room I don't want to get cause it would waste time".
She fell for it. Then I pull out my FAKE barf which looks like real barf. Then you say or I said "Mom I don't feel so good"! News flash: Don't over sell it think about all that boring school work! and guess what she fell for it so I spend all day doing nothing...absolutely nothing!
Well that's the prank. Anymore pranks you want ask me in the comment section! Byeeeeeeeeeee
My dick's so big, I stuck it in your mom's loose hole.
Why does my brother have no mom?
If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.
It’s like I always tell my kids:
"Two in the pink, one in the stink."
How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They tell her to sit in the corner in a circular room.
Why did Morgan’s dad leave her?
She kept making dad jokes.
What is it about sisters who argue?
Mother: We need to talk about sex...
Jason: Oh, sex, tell me what do you wanna know.
Jason had a big whooping from his mother and big spanking from his dad.
Friend, your mum's fat.
Me: Well, your mum's so fat, she played pool with the planets.
We were so poor my dad would give me a penny not to eat supper.
I'd put it under my pillow and while I was sleeping, he would come in and take it. In the morning, he would holler at me for losing the penny.
