Family jokes
Why are orphans lonely?
Because they don't have parents to talk to.
What do you call an orphan who can't get 5 stars on GTA?
Not wanted.
I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.
Dad: "I'll be back in a minute."
20 years later
Orphan: "Dad?"
Why do orphans love dogs?
Because dogs stay with them.
I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.
Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.
So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?
Why do orphans not love their parents?
Because they don’t have parents.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your dad.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it could not find home.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
"Orphans get picked."
Why is it OK to hit an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
What is the similarity between Hitler and orphans?
They both don't have parents.
Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because they are so fucking useless!
Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Home Depot.
Why did the orphan live at school?
Because on the first day his parents didn’t pick him up.
A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.
What can't an orphan spell?
Home.
Son, why do I not have an Easter basket?
Mom, you're 23, you don't need one. Ends calls, child support.