Family

Family jokes

Ear

Why does Sophia have no ears? Her mom gave her, her first haircut.

Poop

Oh, Mom, there is poop in the toilet still.

Mom: Oh, that was me and the dog.

Me: Wait, what????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Insult

Conor MacGregor to Poirier: "Your wife is your husband!"

(After the fight, or should I say after the fracture.)

Poirier: Really, bitch?

Orphan

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell him, "Clap your hands until your mom comes."

Orphan

What do orphans call a holiday?

A bit of soil and some leaves as a blanket.

Dad

What did the mom tell her son when he asked for a bowl of cereal? "Sorry your dad wasn't came back with the milk yet."

Mama

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Not your.

Not your who?

Not your mama!

Daddy

Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"

Night

The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.

Parent

Why did your parents abandon you?

Because the first thing you dad said to be was; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE."