Family jokes
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
What will happen if orphans use an iPhone?
They can't find the home button.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why can’t an orphan take medicine?
They need parental supervision.
Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?
Because it had no home button.
Why can't orphans be home schooled?
Because they have no parent to home school them.
Why can't orphans go to school? They can't attend parent-teacher conferences.
My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"
I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
The apples get picked.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They can't find home plate.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
Because they want to be wanted.
Mummy, how was I born?
Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."
So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."
Why don't orphans understand dad jokes?
Your mom and dad abandoned you because you're too ugly.
Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?
My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
Why can’t orphans watch clean nice content? Because they are family friendly.