Family jokes

There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.

She really hates it when I spit my food back out.

If I adopt a child, is it mine?

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Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?

They never reached home.

Q: What is the difference between a dead body and an orphan?

A: The dead body had a family.

Why can't orphans get a home run?

Because they have no home to run to.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home base.

What's the difference between you and your mom?

I slept with your mom.

My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because he can't find his parents.

What is the difference between the human rights act and a dad?

Why can't orphans play cricket? Because they can't find home.

Why did the Orphan have imaginary parents?

Because his last parents existed.

Children are so ungrateful nowadays. I got my daughter a bike, but now she’s crying on the floor saying, “I don’t have legs!”

Why do orphans have to be homeschooled?

Because they can't be home schooled.

Q: Why can’t orphans play baseball?

A: They don’t have a home to run back to.

He said he didn't want to be my brother anymore.

He's now my sister.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they have no home.

I was playing baseball with orphans, but when they hit a homerun, they had nowhere to go.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they have to hit a home run.

My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."