Family jokes
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."
The other man says, "How do you know?"
The other man says, "Because she is dead."
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Boomerangs come back, but your dad never did.
Your nan's gay.
Why do I have a fat mom?
You were born out of your dad.
"-JuicyFruitSnacks- A whole lot of pepper and a whole lot of salt. If I blame it on my friends, it won't be my fault."
-Mully- This is my mom left!!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find their way home.
Sad life goes, joke mom.
Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.
The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.
What did the orphan say to his mom?
Where are you?
Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?
Are you kidding me?!?
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are picked.
Me: *in a family meeting*
Mom: Ok guys...
Me in my mind: BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA
An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"
The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"
In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."
Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.
Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.
Teacher: Why?
Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.