Family jokes
What do you call your mom?
Monkey.
My sister's pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad!
Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?
Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?
I saw you when I got chance at the adoption center!
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not your dad?"
There are two sexes: one with your mother and the other with you.
How is sports like regular life for orphans?
They don't get picked for either.
My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.
Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because there is nobody to call "daddy."
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
Bully: Agh, you're ugly!
Me: Said your mom when you were born.
Your mom gay.
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
What's it called when an orphan calls 911?
Operator: Hello, is your family okay?
Orphan: I'm an orphan.
Operator: *bruh*
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
Yo mama!
Why do orphans like to go to church?
Because they can finally call someone "father!"
An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They ain't got no home to run to.