My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.
Family Jokes
Why can't orphans see their parents?
Because they don't have one!
Hey girl, are you an orphan?
Oh, thatβs right, Iβm your daddy.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.
Gwen, we can chat in 2 months. My aunt just died from COVID, and it is taking forever for us to get there to California. I love you, your boyfriend, Prince!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked. ππππππ
Brendon, just shut up, no one was talking to you on the fucking joke! And my sis is not a female dog. If she was, then how the hell would she spell!
Why can orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
My grandfather loves Hitler. They both had one ball.
Why are orphans gay? Because they canβt come out to anyone.
Why can't orphans go to family restaurants?
Because they don't have a family to go with.
Cooper, your mum gay, lol.
Did you know that "girlfriend" at the end, it starts with "end." So does "boyfriend," and "friend" have "end" at the end of it, but "family" at the end it "ily" I love you.
What does the orphan have in common with Batman? They both lost their parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they will never get home.
What do a blackjack dealer and my uncle have in common?
They both hit me face down on the table.
When you end up pregnant...
Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say "DON'T," and if he touched me down there I should say "STOP." But Dad, he touched me both places at once so I said, "DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!" π
Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.
Sister: No, I won't stop.
Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.
Sister: What? You will see when I post it.
Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?
Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ΜT HAVE A LIFE.
Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"
I saw a trophy in my sister's room. So I said congratulations on your cheer leading. My sister said I didn't win the trophy for cheer leading, so I asked why. My sister said I won because I give the best jobs.
