Family jokes

Suck your mum's bum.

Noticing how wet and gentle the baby's mouth was on the bottle tip, this gave Uncle Willie an idea.

Like if you don't have a dad.

I heard World War 500000 in my parents'.

Orphans don't have parents!!1! ahahahaha ahahaha plz like and subscribe and hit that bell icon #logang #imagamerpersonwedontfuckwiththegenderbinary #wedontfuckingeneral #nofilter #rememberifyousubscribethenisubscribeback

What do you call a duck with no head?

Your mom gay.

What did the stepbrother and stepsister do together?

Oof, mitosis!

My sister just sits on the toilet with her iPad, then I go to do something at the sink and she says, "Bella, give me toilet paper!" Then I am annoyed, like super annoyed.

Someone telling a joke:

Boy: "My parents are dead."

Girl: "My grandad is too."

Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"

Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Duh!"

"Guess what my wife left in the freezer?"

"Her miscarriage."

My grandmother said goodnight...

She never said good morning.

What do you call an orphan with no legs in an adoption center?

Answer: Who cares?

My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck, someone would die later that exact day.

She found out she had cancer. 11 months later, my grandpa died of a stroke. I hope to see them in heaven. I’d like to meet them. Pls comment good things. I really, really love them, even though I didn’t get to meet them. 😭😭😭

I gave an orphan 5 dollars and I said, "Spend it on a candy bar." I came back 5 minutes later and he didn't have a candy bar. So I look over and I see that he has a piggy bank that has 40 dollars and I said, "Where did you get that?" He said, "For being homeless," and I said, "What are you going to spend it on?" He looked at me and said, "I'm going to pay money for a mother."

Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡

Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐

Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬

Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱

Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*

Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤

Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨

Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠

Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤

Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮

Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫

Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕

Why did my dad leave me? Because I was a disappointment.

Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.

I impaled my son with a pitchfork...

He looks very sharp.

My sister's boyfriend is mad because I fucked his girl.