Family jokes

I was raised as an only child.

Which really annoyed my twin sister.

When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.

Q: What movie do orphans hate?

A: Fatherhood.

Yo momma so stupid, she wrote this joke!

Most people don't realize this, but the F in orphan stands for family.

An orphan walks into a science lab. The lead scientist greets him and takes him to a DNA testing station. After some procedures, the results come back:

"UNKNOWN"

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

Zion's so fat, when he walks, he breaks his mama's back.

Why don't orphans go on trips at school?

Parent signature: _______________

I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"

What do orphans and people eating oranges have in common? They both are eating balls.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mom." "Your mom who?" "It's not your mom, it's my mom!"

Why can't orphans play soccer? Because they can't practice with their dad.

"PENIS WAIT WHAT OENIS SUCK MINE DADDY?" Sorry, you are an orphan.

What's the difference between an orphan's dad and a boomerang?

The boomerang comes back.

I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.

Son: Mom, what's dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Son: Mom, I'm blind.

Mom: Exactly.

Yo mama so FAT...

That when she had sex with you...

Your balls turned to pancakes.

I saw a kid in the yard and I asked where are your parents.

Then I got fired from the orphanage.

Orphans can't call their parents if they get hurt! Sorry.🩹