Family jokes

If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"

I love my mom.

If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.

Most people don't realize this, but the F in orphan stands for family.

An orphan walks into a science lab. The lead scientist greets him and takes him to a DNA testing station. After some procedures, the results come back:

"UNKNOWN"

Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?

Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!

I was raised as an only child.

Which really annoyed my twin sister.

Zion's so fat, when he walks, he breaks his mama's back.

Yo momma so stupid, she wrote this joke!

Why do orphans suck at baseball?

Because they can't run home.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.

What's an orphan's least favorite game?

Hide and seek.

A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"

So an orphan played for a football team, and the coach said, "Your parents must be proud of you!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

I saw a kid in the yard and I asked where are your parents.

Then I got fired from the orphanage.

Why was Kobe a good father?

He took his daughter with him.

I ate my mom.

A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.