Family jokes
Why did the orphan turn gay?
A: Because he wanted someone to call him "daddy."
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can actually call home.
Q. What is an orphan's favorite game?
A. Hide and seek.
Memes
What’s a orphan's fav movie?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
I asked a kid why he was so blue.
Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
Yo momma's so ugly that when she walked into a Haunted Mansion, she walked back out with a job application.
What's the difference between a boomerang and parents to an orphan?
The boomerang comes back.
My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...
I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents are.
I love my job at the orphanage.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your dead son.
Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.
Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?
Because they want to feel wanted.
Why did the orphan become a stripper?
To have someone to call "daddy!"
My mom calls me.
Me: WHAT MOM?
No answer.
Me: WHAT?
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because he doesn’t know where home is.
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.