Family jokes

What's the difference between a cheater and your mom?

They both cheated!

How are orphans like broken pencils?

Neither of them have points.

I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.

Why can’t orphans be gay?

Because they don’t have anybody to call “daddy.”

What's an orphan's favorite sport?

Tennis because it's the only love they'll get.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan?

Because they can't call their parents.

Why does an orphan go to church?

So they can call someone "father."

My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.

A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.

Ur dad is mad.

What show has something orphans will never have?

American Dad!

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

I'm so proud of my Grandpa. He killed Hitler himself.

Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.

Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.

Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.

These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."

Why can't an orphan see their parents? Because there is mayo in his dick hole.

My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.

A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"

The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.

He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.