Family jokes

Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan?

Because it has no home button.

Why does the orphan not buy milk?

That's what their parents are doing.

What were my great grandpa's last words?

"SHIT MG42!!!"

Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?

Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.

Suck your mom. ☺️

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't find their way home.

In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.

I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"

She replied, "Two or three."

Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.

Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.

Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.

I made a website for orphans, unfortunately it doesn’t have a homepage.

What’s fat, brown, and has no dad?

Ama

My grandpa and your hairline go way back.

I would rather do my own laundry, not my uncle's laundry, because I ain't no damn butler like Alfred from Batman. I don't live in no damn Batcave by Gotham tity.

Why can't orphans go to a school field trip?

Because he needs the parent's signature.

Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!

I saw a little boy begging for money.

I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents!"

I got stuck in the dryer again. Brother, say less.

Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.

If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.

If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.

An orphan went on a game show.

The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."