Family jokes
Why did orphans play Poppy Playtime?
To get a family.
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?
'Cause their dad never came back with it.
Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.
Knock knock, Who's there? Dad. You came back?
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.
Your dad must be a mailman.
Why is the iPhone X best for orphans?
There is no home button.
Why did the orphan go to the woods? To take a *what*?
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
They can never find home.
Why do orphans like to play GTA?
To be wanted.
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
Ur adopted.
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
Bowling is like child support: it involves balls.