Family jokes
Where do you find an orphan? Just look for your mum.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He didn't know where home was.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?
You only see one asshole in 69.
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
They can never find home.
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Mother!
Mother who?
It's your mother.
I heard World War 50000000 in my parent's room.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips? Because they need parent permission.
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
What does an orphan do on school parents' day? Nothing.
Why couldn't the twins never do anything right?
Because they were triplets!