Family jokes
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?
That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.
Roses are red, violets are blue; blood's thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.
How long does it take a black woman to take out the trash?
About nine months and a day.
You look too old to be living with your grandma.
How to cure boredom:
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you don’t know when or how to stop.
What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?
He didn't come back with the milk.
BlessedBrian's family reunions must be like a casting call for the Addams Family.
BlessedBrian’s mom’s birth certificate is a COLLECTOR’S ITEM.
Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
Why can't orphans use iPhones?
They can't find the home button.
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to.