Family jokes
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
My dad said I need to eat more. I don't know why, but his fat ass needs to stop eating.
My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."
Where does Kristen Stewart get her virginity from? She gets it from her mama and papa.
I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?
I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset.
Why did your mom cross the road?
You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.
Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.
I asked a child where their parents were. They started to cry. I laughed and walked out of an orphanage.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?
They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.
Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.
(Also, I banged ya mum ;))
I got a pen for my baby sister. Best trade I made so far.
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
My favorite sex position is ‘WOW.’ It's where I flip your mom upside down.
What would an orphan priest call himself?
Father Les.
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
Why did Brandon's mum chase him with a knife? Because he didn't let her cum first!
Ur mom loves to eat logs, lmao.