Family jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.
What does the drummer call his twins? Anna 1, Anna 2.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Mother!
Mother who?
It's your mother.
I heard World War 50000000 in my parent's room.
What type of pictures do orphans take?
Selfies.
What's the difference between your mom and a troll?
Nothing, they both look the same.
Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.
Mom: I made you.
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on the horse...
Would you help him jack off the horse?
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.
Five years later, he came back and left again.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t get to home run!
Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"
Friend B: "I was until last night."
Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"
Friend B: "Your sister."
Friend A: "I don't have a sister."
Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."
I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.
Why do orphans like to play GTA?
To be wanted.
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?
You only see one asshole in 69.