Family jokes

My name is Shelly Bobby... I don't know my last name.

"Knock, knock."

"Orphan: Who's there?"

"Not your parents."

When an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.

I am an orphan...

Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."

I wish I knew life, but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.

Sonic says if you're ever born, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.

When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.

What do orphans, parents, and Nemo have in common?

Neither can be found.

What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."

What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?

Only one is wanted.

What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.

When you ask an orphan to come over:

Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"

Orphan: "Yeah, sure."

Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."

Why do orphans ride the bus? Because they have no parents to drop them off.

When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"

Children and your meat are actually quite similar.

At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.

One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...

Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)

Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?

Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.

Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?

I got a sister.

That was a big mistake.

Dad?