Family jokes
Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.
How did the orphan become famous?
By "go[ing] big or go[ing] home."
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
Where's your mom?
In the bin.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? Because they don’t get homesick.
Memes
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
My sister is so short she can't walk.
Ur adopted.
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
Why do orphans not buy a keyboard? Because they can’t use the home button.
When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"
What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?
One you can unscrew.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
I'm making a website for orphans. [I] won't add the home page.