Family jokes
Whoever said that about me better pray!
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
Memes
I bet my mum thinks this 😂
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Why couldn’t the orphan play baseball?
He had no home to run to!
Why do orphans hate iPhones? Because they have a home button.
What's the difference between your mom and a troll?
Nothing, they both look the same.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on the horse...
Would you help him jack off the horse?
What is hard to find but easy to make?
An orphan.
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)
I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
Why do orphans like to play GTA?
To be wanted.
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
What does the drummer call his twins? Anna 1, Anna 2.
Why can’t an orphan go on the field trip?
Answer: They don’t have a parent’s signature.
What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Tesla?
I don’t have a Tesla in my garage.
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”