Family jokes
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.
To: The Orphan
From: ______
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
Why can't orphans score in baseball?
They can't find home.
Your mum's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?
A baseball player has a home to run to.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home base.
Why do dads take time to get?
Milk?
I got $1,000,000 for my brother. Best trade I ever made!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home plate.
What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?
My dad went to get both and never came back.
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
I look at an orphanage, then hug my mum. He just looks sad and crude because he couldn’t find his mum.
Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
I came on for an orphan joke.
Then I realized they are a joke.
Why can't orphans go on field trips?
Parents' signature _______________________________
Why do orphans play tennis?
So they can finally get love.