Family jokes
Why was Aaron's mum sad? The bus missed Aaron.
Kid: Mom! You lied to me!
Mom: When?
Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!
Mom: Sooo?
Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?
Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
Why can't orphans go on field trips?
Parents' signature _______________________________
What is the difference between an orphan and a robber?
One is wanted.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
When your grandma says she's rusty but still manages to teach you.
What do you call a kid that lives alone?
An orphan. ;)
As a kid, I was made to walk the plank.
Because we couldn't afford a dog.
A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.
After the plane takes off, a woman sitting behind the man asks him, “Are all of them yours?”
“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.
Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.
Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.
I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words:
"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"
Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."
Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."
Dad: "Exactly, son."
Why don't orphans play GTA?
Because they're sad they don't get wanted!
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.