Family jokes
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
Why do orphans only have 354 days?
'Cause they are missing Mothers and Fathers day!
What does an orphan and a dog have in common?
Both got taken from their parents.
I would invite you to play baseball, but there's no home for you to run to.
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually came back.
Q: Why is it good being an orphan?
A: Because the family sized bag is all there's.
Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.
Why do orphans want a phone so bad?
Because it has a home button.
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
Why is the orphan sad for dinner?
He has no one to eat with at the table.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
What’s the difference between the twin towers and your parents?
Nothing, they are both just memories.
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
Oh, ate the cheese? Urmom.
Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...
But a creeper blows it up.
What did the orphan do when he got punched?
Nothing, because his parents weren't there! :)
Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.
I caught my wife cheating on me.
I beat my son and grounded him.
Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?
Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."