Family jokes
Yo mama's cheeks are red, I don't know why.
I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
I heard World War 50000000 in my parent's room.
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Mother!
Mother who?
It's your mother.
My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
Yo mama so fat...
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.
Why do orphans want parents? Because they don't want to be left out.
Why can orphans go to Thacker Jewelry?
They love to see the whole family.
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
What does an orphan do on school parents' day? Nothing.
What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.
Why couldn't the twins never do anything right?
Because they were triplets!
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?
You only see one asshole in 69.
One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.
Five years later, he came back and left again.