Family jokes
Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.
Why do orphans only have 354 days?
'Cause they are missing Mothers and Fathers day!
What does an orphan and a dog have in common?
Both got taken from their parents.
I would invite you to play baseball, but there's no home for you to run to.
Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?
Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.
Why do orphans want a phone so bad?
Because it has a home button.
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
What did the drummer call his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two!
When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.
I felt bad for the orphan because he couldn't go on a field trip, you know why?
Parent signature: _________
Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.
Student: Sorry to hear.
Teacher: Is anyone missing today?
Student: Your parents.
What relationship status fits an orphan?
Single.