Family jokes
Why can't orphans make dad jokes? Because they don't have one.
Yo mama so fat when she walks the earth talks!
LMAO
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.
To: The Orphan
From: ______
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
Memes
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
What is a show an orphan will never be able to relate to?
"Full House".
Why can't orphans score in baseball?
They can't find home.
Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."
Your mum's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?
A baseball player has a home to run to.
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home base.
Why do dads take time to get?
Milk?
I got $1,000,000 for my brother. Best trade I ever made!