Did you hear about the orphan who ran away from home?
Wait a minute! What am I talking about?
Family Jokes
What do my mom and a basketball have in common?
My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.
What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?
The cat is actually cute.
My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"
I said, "Are you going to punish me?"
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Dad!
Dad who?
*Silence*
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
What do you call an orphan that grows up to be a priest?
Father-less.
My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and went right.
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."
My brother said, "You want a cookie?"
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
Your sister is your mother.
Your father is your brother.
You all shag one another.
The Inbred family.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
