Family

Family jokes

Money

What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?

"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."

Orphan

What's an orphan's favorite meme?

Homer going into a bush.

Might take a while to notice and this one is bad.

Orphan

What is the difference between an orphan and a blanket?

One is actually used.

Orphan

What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?

One is loved by all.

Memes

Orphan

Why do orphans like to go to church?

So they have someone to call father.

If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?

Orphan

Did you hear about the orphan who ran away from home?

Wait a minute! What am I talking about?

Mom

What do my mom and a basketball have in common?

My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.

Orphan

What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?

The cat is actually cute.

Mom

My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"

I said, "Are you going to punish me?"

Margarine

The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.

Father: Son, you can do butter!

Comeback

Person: You suck!

Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎

Rear

What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?

John fucked them both in the rear.

Fetus

What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?

They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”

Rest

If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?

Mom

What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.

Kid

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

Mom

My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.