Family jokes

If aliens were real,

then orphans would finally have a home.

Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.

Kid: Ok.

*Bring kid to the orphanage*.

What's the best thing about an orphan GF?

You don't have to meet her parents.

Why did the orphan wait in line?

To see their parents next.

Why can't orphans have iPhones?

Because they can't find the home button.

What is an orphan's favorite time with his family?

"Me time."

Dad: Son, you're adopted.

Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.

Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.

When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).

Why do orphans like to go to church?

It is the only place where they can call a father.

Riddle me this. Riddle me that.

Why did my parents never come back?

Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"

Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."

Teacher: Where is your slip so I can see you can come on this trip?

Orphan: Parent signature: ___________

Everybody is mad because that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair.

I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.

You: Knock knock. Other person: Who is there? You: Not your parents.

Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.

Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.

What is an orphan's favorite video game?

"Who's Your Daddy?"

When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."

The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.

The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."

The students said, "Oof, that is sad."

The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"

The students said, "Your parents."

The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.

A dad told his son never to hit girls, so the son replied, "I promise."

When the son got older, he was doing the dirty with "a girl," and the girl says, "Spank me, daddy..." and the son responds, "My dad said never to hit a girl."

Then the "girl" takes off the wig, and it's his dad, and the dad said, "Good job, son!"

Son:...... um