Family jokes
Why do orphans like to go to church?
It is the only place where they can call a father.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Everybody is mad because that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair.
I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.
When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."
Teacher: Where is your slip so I can see you can come on this trip?
Orphan: Parent signature: ___________
Dad: Son, you're adopted.
Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.
Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.
The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.
Why did the orphan call her boyfriend "daddy"?
Because she wanted that D.
Why is the iPhone X the perfect phone for an orphan?
Because there is no home button.
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
Children are like farts.
You can only tolerate your own.
What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?
Nothing, he just started wanking.
1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.
Why does family love family?
Because everyone has their Friday night nut together.
Why does a brother love his sister?
Because he came in her.
The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.
A dad told his son never to hit girls, so the son replied, "I promise."
When the son got older, he was doing the dirty with "a girl," and the girl says, "Spank me, daddy..." and the son responds, "My dad said never to hit a girl."
Then the "girl" takes off the wig, and it's his dad, and the dad said, "Good job, son!"
Son:...... um
What is a cow on two legs?
Yo mama!
I've never seen my dad since September 11. I wonder where he is...
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.
Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"