Family jokes

What is an orphan's favorite video game?

"Who's Your Daddy?"

When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."

Dad: Son, you're adopted.

Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.

Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.

What is an orphan's favorite time with his family?

"Me time."

What do you call an orphan fish?

Self-ish.

Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Orphan: What's a mama?

Random kid: *shook*

My brother wanted to sharpen my pencil. I told him he had a point.

The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.

My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...

Why did the orphan call her boyfriend "daddy"?

Because she wanted that D.

What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?

Nothing, he just started wanking.

Why is the iPhone X the perfect phone for an orphan?

Because there is no home button.

I like my kids like I like my lamps.

Hung from the ceiling.

Why were the cherries 🍒 crying?

Because their parents were in a jam.

Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!

You’re so ugly, I can see why your dad left now.

I put the fun in dysfunctional.

What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?

One is a tool. The other is your mom.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.

A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”

Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”