Family jokes
What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?
Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.
Mother got shot, damn.
Father got shot, damn.
Sister got shot, damn.
Brother got shot, damn.
Auntie running away with a shotgun!
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"
Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."
Teacher: Where is your slip so I can see you can come on this trip?
Orphan: Parent signature: ___________
When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).
Hollow Knight Meme
Why do orphans like to go to church?
It is the only place where they can call a father.
Riddle me this. Riddle me that.
Why did my parents never come back?
Everybody is mad because that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair.
I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.
You: Knock knock. Other person: Who is there? You: Not your parents.
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
What is an orphan's favorite video game?
"Who's Your Daddy?"
When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."
Dad: Son, you're adopted.
Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.
Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.
The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.
Why did the orphan call her boyfriend "daddy"?
Because she wanted that D.
What is an orphan's favorite time with his family?
"Me time."
Children are like farts.
You can only tolerate your own.
My brother wanted to sharpen my pencil. I told him he had a point.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Orphan: What's a mama?
Random kid: *shook*