What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
Puppies actually get picked.
Family Jokes
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
My uncles like the moon.
He comes out at night.
A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.
When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.
Me: You f&*k up.
The class: Oh sh!&
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.
Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
What is an orphan's favorite naval film?
"Spider-Man: No Way Home."
This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
What is the one word orphans don’t know? Homework.
What is an orphan’s least favorite movie?
"Spider-Man," because it told them there was no way home.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is down, your mum's Facebook will do.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
