Family jokes

I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.

Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.

Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?

What do you call an orphan that grows to be a priest?

Fatherless.

Me: I saw your parents yesterday.

Orphan girl: Where?

Me: The coffin was still open.

What's the difference between puppies and orphans?

Puppies actually get picked.

My uncle is an alchemist.

He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.

What is an orphan's favorite toy?

Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.

Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?

Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.

Mom: Excuse me?

Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?

I don’t know and I don’t care.

My uncles like the moon.

He comes out at night.

A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.

When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.

Me: You f&*k up.

The class: Oh sh!&

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

At least one of them gets picked.

Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.

When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!

What is an orphan's favorite naval film?

"Spider-Man: No Way Home."

This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.

What’s an orphan’s favorite movie?

Spider-Man: Homecoming.

What is the one word orphans don’t know? Homework.

What is an orphan’s least favorite movie?

"Spider-Man," because it told them there was no way home.