Family jokes
You're shorter than a thumbtack, like, boy, your auntie is probably taller than you.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Why are orphans gay? To call someone "daddy."
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples actually get picked.
Why are you mad because no one wants to adopt me?
Wouldn’t the person be dead before the strangling starts? Unless Alastor did surgery?
What's the best competition to do with an orphan?
Which orphan had their parent for the longest?
Why does an orphan hate playing baseball?
Because it has no home base.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find his parents.
I took out my mother-in-law, being a sniper, I'd fun.
Your mom's so small that she hang glided on a Dorito!
An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"
The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"
Orphans and homeless people are the same thing.
What did an orphan say to its father?
Nothing.
What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."
The other man says, "How do you know?"
The other man says, "Because she is dead."
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
GURL
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
"Mom, these balloons are hard to blow."
"Son, stay out of the drawer."
Tell your mom happy last night. 🍆 in my bed.
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."