Family jokes
Why can't orphans use iPhones?
There's a home button.
My brother Taf likes to pee the bed.
Why are dogs different than orphans?
Because dogs don't cry for their parents.
I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
You wanna know what's a concept? An orphan being homeschooled.
My brother truly is a numbskull.
Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?
Dad: Sure, Alex!
Dad: We're here!
Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!
Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!
There was a house with a three-story building.
The first one had Mexicans.
The second one had Africans.
The third one had white people.
An earthquake came.
But who did survive?
The white family because they were at work.
Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!
Why don't orphans have iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
Your teeth split faster than your parents' divorce settlement.
I prank called someone and I said, "Is there a Missis Wall there?" They said no. Is there a Mr. Wall there? They said no. Are there any Walls there? They said no. Then what's holding up your building?
The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"
Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."
Why do orphans play tennis?
It's the only way they get love.
Why can't orphans do it?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Stephen Hawking's family was cruel. He fell over and got told to man up and walk it off.
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
Why do orphans miss every hit? Because no one is cheering for them.
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
The last names after marriage!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they didn’t have a home.