Family jokes
My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.
And they're off!
Why do orphans eat dry cereal for breakfast?
They're still waiting for their dad to come back with the milk.
Who is Osama Bin Laden’s secret cousin? Barack Obama or Barack Osama Bin Laden?
Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?
Because they have a home room.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they finally have someone to call father.
How's your dad?
What? I forgot he's still sleeping.
What should you never say to an orphan?
"Your Mom."
Why do Orphans like school?
Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.
I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
Why can't orphans play football?
Because they can't be on the home team.
Why couldn't an orphan play baseball?
He couldn't find home plate.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?
Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.
What do Myspace and my dad have in common?
I haven't seen them in a while.
I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.
He hugged me!
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!
How do you make an orphan cry? Ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it.