Family jokes
I asked the orphan why he was crying. He didn't really say anything.
Then I asked where are your parents? He cried more. I love working at the orphanage.
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they don't have their parent's email.
Why did the orphan fail all his classes?
He couldn’t do his homework.
Why do orphans hate mitosis cells?
They have parents.
I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
They always come back.
Me: Dad, my phone is broken.
Dad: How?
Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.
Dad: Stupid.
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
Dad: I'm giving all your toys to the orphan kid.
Kid: Why, Dad?
Dad: So you don't get bored.
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
Why did the orphan become a criminal?
Because he wanted to actually be wanted.
Why do orphans love Home Alone?
They like to see a familiar picture.
Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”
Why don't orphans go to Family Dollar? They don't have a family to go with 'em.
You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.
You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."
Your mama's so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, you can see Micah.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
My sister thinks she's sooooo smart. She said that the only food that makes you cry is onions, therefore I threw a coconut at her.