Family jokes
How's your dad?
What? I forgot he's still sleeping.
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!
How do you make an orphan cry? Ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it.
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
Memes
when my dad facetimes me
"No Way Home" is just the life of an orphan.
What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA? Because they weren't wanted.
New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, because they don’t need a home button.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)
My sister thinks she's sooooo smart. She said that the only food that makes you cry is onions, therefore I threw a coconut at her.
Q: What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
A: Apples get picked.
I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.
He hugged me!
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
Do you know what is good about being an orphan?
Every candy bar is family sized.
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
Why do Orphans like school?
Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.
What should you never say to an orphan?
"Your Mom."