Family jokes
What school can’t orphans go to?
Home school.
What's the similarity between my son and a rug from eBay? I asked for a refund.
Why do orphans go to church?
It's the only place where they can call someone "father."
Why can't orphans play on a computer?
'Cause they have no motherboard.
We better stop telling orphan jokes because their parents will get mad. Oh... wait... never mind.
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
Yo mama is so fat your dad could never get away.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home plate is.
What’s the difference between outlaws and orphans?
At least outlaws are wanted.
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
What is the difference between iPhones and orphans?
iPhones have a home button.
Why do orphans suck at web design?
They don’t know what a home page is.
When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.