Family jokes

Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?

Dogs get loved.

Do you know what is good about being an orphan?

Every candy bar is family sized.

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...

Why do Orphans like school?

Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.

What should you never say to an orphan?

"Your Mom."

I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.

Why can't orphans play football?

Because they can't be on the home team.

Why couldn't an orphan play baseball?

He couldn't find home plate.

If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?

My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!

Yo mama so ugly, she made the band One Direction go the other direction!

Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?

Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!

What’s the difference between a dog and parents?

If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't get a home run.

Mert has no dad.

Raihan fucks Ahmed who fucks Zupporah.

I don't know, I don't have one.

Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.

Your mom is so fat, when she asked, "What gift will I get?" Abuela from Encanto said, "Definitely Taco Bell!" 🌮🔔

Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?

Because it didn’t have one.