Family jokes

Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA? Because they weren't wanted.

I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.

Where's my sister's friend? Oh, I forgot, we are in Alabama.

Why do Orphans like school?

Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.

What should you never say to an orphan?

"Your Mom."

I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?

Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!

What’s the difference between a dog and parents?

If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't get a home run.

The mailman came to drop the mail off.

Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.

Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."

Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."

What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.

Why do orphans go to church?

So they finally have someone to call father.

How's your dad?

What? I forgot he's still sleeping.

When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...

Why did orphans play Poppy Playtime?

To get a family.

Why can't orphans play football?

Because they can't be on the home team.

Why couldn't an orphan play baseball?

He couldn't find home plate.

If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?

"No Way Home" is just the life of an orphan.