Family jokes

I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.

What would they do? Go to their family?

My father touched me yesterday. I called him a priest.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

They can't find home.

Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?

Stuart Little got chosen!

Why do orphans commit crimes?

It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.

What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?

Apples get picked.

What's an orphan's least favorite joke?

Dad jokes.

I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.

God, orphanages are fun to work at!!

If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.

Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.

I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

What is an orphan's least favorite snack?

"Dots HOMESTYLE Pretzels!"

I was the second worst thing to happen to those orphans.

Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.

What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.

Why was the orphan confused at the baseball game?

They kept yelling, "Go home!"

I made Google Earth for orphan kids.

Sadly, it does not show where home is.

I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.