Family jokes
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.
What is an orphan’s least favorite movie?
"Spider-Man," because it told them there was no way home.
What is the one word orphans don’t know? Homework.
Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.
What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?
Apples get picked.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Dad jokes.
I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What is an orphan's least favorite snack?
"Dots HOMESTYLE Pretzels!"
Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.
Coworker: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Coworker: Not your parents.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked, and the other doesn't.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.
What issues don't orphans have?
Daddy issues.
What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?
They're both filled with happy little accidents.