Family jokes
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.
Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents.
The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A self-portrait.
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
Why do orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
Your sister is so ugly, she made Hello Kitty say goodbye.
Bubba couldn't make rent, so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead.
I think he forgot he lived in his mom's basement.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
From your Dad.
I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
Why couldn't the orphan get an Android? Because it didn't have a home button.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.