Family

Family jokes

Doctor

A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."

Mama

Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.

Doctor

When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!

Memes

Dad

This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.

Orphan

What is an orphan’s least favorite movie?

"Spider-Man," because it told them there was no way home.

Room

Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.

He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"

She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."

Orphanage

Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?

Orphan

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

Orphan

Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!

Status

I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.

I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?

Stuart Little got chosen!

Orphan

Why was the orphan confused at the baseball game?

They kept yelling, "Go home!"