Family jokes
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐
What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?
The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!
Knock, knock. Who's there? You're adopted.
What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?
Her miscarriage.
My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..
They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.
Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.
I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"
Q: Why did Sally fall off the building?
A: Her dad pushed her.
Dad: I'm dying.
Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].
Dad: Really, now is not the time.
Son: I'm sorry.
Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
Smack an orphan, what’s he gonna do... tell his parents?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...
So I threw a carrot at her.
Why did the orphan call Mr. Smith "daddy"? Because he put her in the vices and taught her a lesson about virginity.
You know I'm not too into black girls, but Kobe's daughter was smoking!
Why do most orphans become prostitutes?
“Because they always wanted a daddy.”
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.
Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.
Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.
My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.
Why do the orphans keep going back to the orphan home?
Because they got no home to go to, yeah, please like this and laugh because I got no one to read this.