a girl and her brother are walking in their garden POV:Brother. Sister:Why are you cutting those flowers?
Brother; because their beautiful!
Sister:I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't.
Brother:......
Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously I'm not joking
What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers?
A virgin.
My grandpa may be a pedo but at least he slows down in the school car park
What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it’s family?
A self-fie
Its sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as- wild dogs
My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words ... through the pillow.
Me. i asked an orphan were his parents were i also said that i promised to take him to them Orphan. there dead Me. a promise made is a promise kept
Dad. Son who do you want to marry when you grow up? Son. A ugly girl. Dad. Why not a pretty girl? Son. A pretty one might run away. Dad. So and ugly one might to. Son. Yeah but who cares.
What’s the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus’s birth date.
It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.
Girl: How do you feel about abortion? Dad: Ask your sister Girl: I don't have a ...
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons. American: I won't ever see my dog again! Italian: I won't ever make pizzas again! German: Hey, granddad, how have you been?
My uncle and I have some what of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family even grandma.
"Son, I found a condom in your room."
"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"
"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
A mom gave her son "the talk". her son replies "wait so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied.
Is it just me or when you wipe your ass to deep it reminds you of your uncle. Just me??
