Family jokes
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't go home.
When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Because they actually came back...
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.
Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.
Why can orphans only have iPhone 13s?
Because there is no home button.
A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"
Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"
The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."
Why can orphans only have iPhones 14s? Because they can't have a home button.
One night, a father heard his daughter saying good night.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good night, Mamah."
"Good bye, Papa."
The next day her papa died.
He heard her saying them a month later.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good bye, Mamah."
The next day her mamah died.
Well, her dad was scared for his life. He knew he was next. Well, his daughter said them again.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good bye, Dad."
The next day, the mail man dropped dead on their porch.
You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?
'Cause then they know they won't die alone.
Knock knock! Who's there? It's Dave! Dave who? Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
What do kids have in comments? They have parents, right?
The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."
The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."
Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Because they don’t have a home to go to.
Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.
Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.
Why is something orphans can never say?
"Let's go home."
Me: Hey, you want to hear a dark joke?
Brother: Sure.
Me: Turn off the light.
Today I asked my sis to take out the trash, and I shoved her outside!
What did the kid say to the orphan?
"Well, at least I have parents!"
How do you make a mime cry?
You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.