When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"
Family Jokes
Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?
A. Denephew.
Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have no one to call "daddy."
I remember my uncle's last words:
"I don't think we're going shooting today."
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."
My sister reminds me of 911: one moan of "OMG" got everyone's attention.
MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.
DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.
MOM: No, you're not.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
The mother and her daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The mother realized this and took off looking for her. After a while, she found her tugging on a black man. The mother asked, "What are you doing?" and the daughter replied, "I wan't the chocolate!"
Me: Want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.
Friend: What's funny about that?
Me: Because the next day they disowned me.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
One man's trash is another man's treasure. That sucks when you are adopted.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.
What makes an orphan jump?
A bridge.
What do orphans and TVs have in common?
At least one of them has a home.
What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?
"Family strong, but not that strong."
