Family jokes
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Me time.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?
A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
I went over to a crying child and said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage!
"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."
Yo mama so fat, when she bought a fur coat, she made a whole species extinct.
I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
Why does an orphan always get out in baseball?
Because he can't run home.
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
Why can't orphans play dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
I know 5 fat people, and your mama is 4 of them.
It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.
What did the person say to the orphan?
"Where are your parents?"
What do orphans be on Halloween?
They be themselves.
I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.