When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Mom, am I adopted?
What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.
Why are orphans good at dodgeball?
They can dodge adoptions.
Why do people adopt orphans?
They get cash.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find the home plate.
My bad, but you stink so bad you passed by a trashcan and it yelled, "Wow! I didn't know I had family!"
An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"
Roses are red,
Potatoes are brown,
Your mom's so hot,
I put her down.
Pregnant teen: I'm pregnant, my mum's gonna kill me.
Unborn baby: My mum's gonna kill me.
Friend: Hi.
Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?
Friend: Me?
Me: Damn, no, not you.
Friend: Then who?
Me: The orphan kid.
I guess we're the same.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
What's the difference between a black dad and a boomerang? A boomerang comes back.
I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
Daddy, where's my anus?
You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.
While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
Where do orphans shop for home appliances?
Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?
He would never make it home base.
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
