Family jokes
Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.
If I slap an orphan, what will it do, tell its parents? π€£ππ€£π
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
What do rednecks find when they research their family tree?
Their INCESTors!
Why do orphans not use iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
Why don't orphans have iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.
So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
I cried when my dad cut onions. Onions was such a good dog.
I saw a kid crying, sitting on the sidewalk, and I asked him where his parents were. He then cried even more. God, I love working at the orphanage.
Why does an orphan commit a crime?
Because it wants to be wanted.
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,
"Please send me a sibling!"
Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"
Why was the first orphan phone an iPhone X?
Because it doesn't have a home button.
Person: You can't kill an orphan!
Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?
Why is an orphan's least favorite day field trip day?
Because they can't get a parent's signature.