Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
Orphan: asks you random joke what is the difference between my bomerang and my parents Me: the boomerange came back
A teacher wanted to sing so she did this is what she said "you have no family, even though broker than me"
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because they actually come back.
Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.
I have no father or no milk. Like if you relate.
Teenager: "OMG, I’m prego, my mom's gonna kill me."
Baby: "Lmao, same"
My wife called me a pedophile. That is a big word for a 2 year old.
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
Your hairline goes so far back your mom can't even reach it.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home.
Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.
Yo mama so fat, she has to use pillowcases for socks.
