Family

Family jokes

Orphan

  • Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.

    Mom

  • Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!

    Uncle Jack

  • If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?

    Marriage

  • You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?

    Orphan

  • I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"

    He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

    I said, "Your parents at first."

    Mom

  • "There is no way you can fit in there."

    "Says who?"

    "Your mom."

    "When?"

    "Last night."

    "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

    Orphanage

  • I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.

  • 1
  • Red

  • I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.

    Woman

  • A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”

    “Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.

    “Those are just contractions.”

  • 1