Family jokes
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
The boomerang comes back.
I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.
I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.
What food has an orphan made?
Homemade food.
A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.
“Those are just contractions.”
A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find home.
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
Orphans go on vacation to the ancient pyramid to find a mommy.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have no one to call "daddy."
What's an orphan's favorite meme?
Homer going into a bush.
Might take a while to notice and this one is bad.
Why do orphans go to prison?
Because that's their only home.
What did the parents name their retarded baby? Dimitri
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan? The apples get picked.
"UwU my balls says mommy."
"Wait, what?" says Jonny. "That's not my mommy!"