Why can't an orphan be a criminal?
Because they aren't wanted.
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
Why did the idiot post so many 9/11 jokes?
Answer: Because his mom is a whore!
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
Why do black people call each other brothers? Because they don't know who their fathers are.
Your mom and dad abandoned you because you're too ugly.