New Family Jokes - Page 47 - Worst Jokes Ever

Mom: son where is my condoms son: what are condoms DAD: she puts it on me and the sandwich son: wait why did my girlfriend come over and take one dad: um I don't know but go to bed son: but it's 2:46pm in the afternoon bruh

What did the father name his daughter with no legs?

Peggy.

family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight

Me: a lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant. Friend: like what? Me: my name, my address, my phone number...

Im related to diarrhea it runs in my geans

3 men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish, the 1st man wished he was home with his family, the 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.

Being an orphan isn’t all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.

What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?

A proud new dad sits down with his own father.

His father says, "Son,you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.

The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.

His father says, "Hi, Honoured, I'm Dad."

I told an orphan two never stop talking until their parents come home

Now I can’t get it to shut up

if you hit a child that's child abuse. if you hit a family member that's abuse. if you kill either, it's murder for some reason. if it's a whole family, its genocide for another reason.

Hey don’t Orpheus have friend because the people do have family

boy: "why cant you get a family" me: "why cant you get a rope" boy: "wdym" friend and me: "we can show you" me: "i will tie the rope" friend: "i will push the chair"