For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
Dentist: Open up, sir.
Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.
Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.
Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.
Dentist: Do you need help??
Me: Yep.
Dentist: ...
Me: ....
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!
Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.
Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."
At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.
Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"
The child said, "A mistake."
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
You were supposed to be born in the tree.
The sticks were your siblings.
My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.
Your sister is your mother.
Your father is your brother.
You all shag one another.
The Inbred family.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
What cookies did the orphans never try?
Home made cookies!
My mum said take out the trash, so I took my sister.
What's the difference between my sister and my phone? I don't give a damn if my phone dies.
