Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his mother.
Family Jokes
Why don't orphans do homework?
They don't have a home to do it in.
Why are orphans rude at school?
What's the school going to do? Call their parents?
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
A happy little girl was running on the grass. She saw two gay guys kissing in a blank space, and she started crying. The two gay guys heard her crying, and then they asked her: "Why are you crying?" The little girl answered: "This is the first time I see an unnatural nature."
😂😂😂😂
You're at your girlfriend's house for a family dinner. Your GF says, "Daddy, please pass me the salt," when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.
Guys tell me that I have a MILF for a mom. So I told my mom that guys tell me that she is a MILF. My mom said to me, "What is a MILF?" so I said, "Mother I'd Like TO F-ck." So my mom started to laugh and said, "Well, you do need a new step dad."
Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?
Orphan: ...
So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."
So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."
My dad was on a hotdog with ketchup.
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.
On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."
Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.
What do you call your son?
An mistake.
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."
When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
