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Family

Family jokes

Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."

Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"

Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."

Why do orphans go to church?

It’s the only place they can call someone “father.”

I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.

"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"

If you read this, you fucked your dad and your 4-year-old sister, you sick fuck... At least wait till they are 15.

An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.

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    • A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"

    Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.

    Why do orphans get the small sized chip bags?

    Because they don’t have a family to share it with. 😥

    Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.

    Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*

    Daddy:...

    Timmy: Well come on diddy!

    Daddy: Well shit lets go son!

    Both: YEE YEE

    SWEET HOME ALABAMA

    Kid: Hey, Dad.

    Dad: You're an hour late.

    Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.

    Dad: By yourself?

    Kid: No.

    Dad: A boy?

    Kid: I was with the teacher.

    Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.

    *The next day*

    Uncle: F*CK!

    A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

    The other sibling said, "You are, too."

    Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

    And the sibling says, "We're twins."

    The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."