Family jokes
Why did the orphan call her boyfriend "daddy"?
Because she wanted that D.
Why do any orphans have sex?
Because they can't call anyone "daddy."
Son, you are not precious, so pack your bags because someone else is going to adopt you.
Dad, what do you mean someone else will adopt me?
Son, you're adopted!
How do you know that your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes weird.
What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters?
Anna 1 Anna 2.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.
God being a sniper is so fun!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
It doesn't know where home is.
Hey, the biggest distraction will never be my tattoos in this facility if you understand what I am saying.
But in all seriousness, welcome to the biggest frat party taking place near the ocean. I am most likely going to tell my family this or maybe not, depending what's going down. I am very adaptive through different circumstances.
My daughter is super smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor.
Once a boy named penis had a crush on a girl named vagina. Their teacher found out and explained not to bump into each other; as innocence, they said yes.
One day, penis found his teacher in the bed naked masturbating. The teacher wanted hardcore anal sex, but vagina found it out and went to see them. The teacher told vagina that it's normal. Penis said, "Gosh, that it's normal, I put my dildo in vagina's pussy." Then they three had a hell of a time and they all were pleasured, but after six months, they both had a child, one named dildo and another named pussy.
So, narrated, it can be told that penis had sex with vagina and her teacher normally but ended up getting a dildo and pussy.
Q: How to hit an orphan?
A: Hit them with a family tree.
Orphans go to church to call someone father.
My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
I said to my wife that she's so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back.
What is the difference between you and my dad?
Nothing.
What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.
What's the difference between a cheater and your mom?
They both cheated!
What's the difference between you and your mom?
I slept with your mom.
Your Mom tells you to take out the trash, and the next day the Police are asking if you bombed the School.