When I go to bed, my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick and beats me with it.
Why did Sally not save the mountain climber?
Because it was her dad.
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem. 🎤😎
Yo mama!
My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"
I said, "No, it doesn't!"
What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
I fucked your mom, that's why I've been paying your life support since you were born.
I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset.
your mom
Yo mama is so fat that you should really take care of her because diabetes is a serious problem and she might die.
What do u call a girl that runs faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin!
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.
When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."
The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"No, I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"
"Round the corner picking up shit."
Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship, and I don't have time for you, ASAP, daughter, daughter, or your mother, or your call, or your choice of choice.
My brother truly is a numbskull.
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
My brother
She was only a potato chip manufacturer's daughter--but she was Frito-Lay!
Yo mama so fat that she should be worried for her health and go see a doctor.
