Family jokes
Best part about being an orphan?
Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
Orphans would be upset if they went to FamilyMart.
'Cause they sell oden, not a family.
Your mum isn't home.
Whenever my grandparents apologize, I say "forgive and forget". They are really obedient.
Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"
I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.
What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂
Why did the orphan call Mr. Smith "daddy"? Because he put her in the vices and taught her a lesson about virginity.
Knock, knock!
"Is that daddy?"
No, but I'm about to be, so get on your knees!
Why did the orphan call her boyfriend "daddy"?
Because she wanted that D.
Why do any orphans have sex?
Because they can't call anyone "daddy."
Son, you are not precious, so pack your bags because someone else is going to adopt you.
Dad, what do you mean someone else will adopt me?
Son, you're adopted!
How do you know that your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes weird.
What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters?
Anna 1 Anna 2.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.
God being a sniper is so fun!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
It doesn't know where home is.
Hey, the biggest distraction will never be my tattoos in this facility if you understand what I am saying.
But in all seriousness, welcome to the biggest frat party taking place near the ocean. I am most likely going to tell my family this or maybe not, depending what's going down. I am very adaptive through different circumstances.
My daughter is super smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor.
Once a boy named penis had a crush on a girl named vagina. Their teacher found out and explained not to bump into each other; as innocence, they said yes.
One day, penis found his teacher in the bed naked masturbating. The teacher wanted hardcore anal sex, but vagina found it out and went to see them. The teacher told vagina that it's normal. Penis said, "Gosh, that it's normal, I put my dildo in vagina's pussy." Then they three had a hell of a time and they all were pleasured, but after six months, they both had a child, one named dildo and another named pussy.
So, narrated, it can be told that penis had sex with vagina and her teacher normally but ended up getting a dildo and pussy.