Family jokes
I saw a kid crying today and asked them, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage!
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
Your nan is gay.
din mamma
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
Why can’t orphans f*ck their mom?
Because they don’t have one.
Why did Sally die? She got stabbed by her mum.
Q: Why does an orphan do badly at Baseball?
A: Because they can't find home.
Ur Granny, tranny.
Ur Dad, lesbian.
Ur Mom, gay.
Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.
Little Johnny's father says if them boys say another bad word, I'm going to whoop them, and Little Johnny's brother says, "I'd like some fucking food," and he whooped him, and Little Johnny says, "He would. I'd like some food. At least I didn't—I'd like some fucking food. Bye."
Why did the orphan go outside the school?
Answer: Because it was take your parents to school day.
What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.
Baby Shark be like, "It's the END," bruh, they dead.
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.
The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.
What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?
Her miscarriage.
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
Me: Mom, would you get mad at me for something I didn't do?
Mom: No.
Me: Ok, good. I didn't do my homework.