What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.
Family Jokes
When Bubba's condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.
What do you get when you cross the terms homeless and abandoned?
POORphan
Me: Hey, I’m your mom.
Orphan: Yay, you came back!
Me: Sike!
9 months before I was born,
I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
Note to self.
When baking for the holidays, don't Google "creampies".
Google "cream pie recipes".
What is an orphan's favorite event? Homecoming.
Yo, sis, come here.
Sis: What?
Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?
Sis: Yup.
Me: Can I go?
Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.
Me: I love you.
I adopted you. Now say goodbye, you missed your Spanish lesson...
What is an orphan's favorite toy? A mom and dad action figure.
Why was the kid sad?
He was adopted.
Teacher: Describe a penguin.
Student: Black, white, beak.
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
So Kenny finally found his one true love.
But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.
The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.
What show does an orphan hate?
Family Guy.
Why do orphans have an iPhone X?
Because there is no home button.
If Jeffy goes to an orphanage, he will die. How is he supposed to move?
Man: Oi, dude, why did you shoot the orphans!?
Other man: Because.
Man: Because why!?
Other man: Because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
My granddad died in Auschwitz in WW2...
He fell from a tower.
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃
