Family

Family jokes

Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?

Me: Oh, good, you?

Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.

You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.

Why couldn't the twins never do anything right?

Because they were triplets!

Why can’t an orphan play games with a full house in them? Because they don’t know what a full house is.

When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."

I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.

Why do I call my priest daddy?

Because he raped my mom when she was 13. She's 27 now.

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  • I asked my mom to make me a brat. She was sleepy but I said do it anyway. My mom and my dad had fucked last night so he was on the couch but naked. She took a knife and sliced his dick, then put it on a bun, then ketchup and mustard. I said this tasted funny. She was snoring, then I threw it and said, "EW IS THIS A DICK WHAT THE FUCK AHHH!!!!?!?!!!!"

    Ever since that day, they haven't fucked again because he ain't got nun to fuck with.

    I saw a little boy begging for money.

    I said, "Are you an orphan?"

    He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"

    I said, "Your parents!"