Family jokes
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A self-portrait.
Yo Nan.
I asked my mom to make me a brat. She was sleepy but I said do it anyway. My mom and my dad had fucked last night so he was on the couch but naked. She took a knife and sliced his dick, then put it on a bun, then ketchup and mustard. I said this tasted funny. She was snoring, then I threw it and said, "EW IS THIS A DICK WHAT THE FUCK AHHH!!!!?!?!!!!"
Ever since that day, they haven't fucked again because he ain't got nun to fuck with.
What do you call a crazy-in-every-way sister?
A sissy.
I got stuck in the dryer again. Brother, say less.
I saw a little boy begging for money.
I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents!"
The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.
The other day my mom called me a retard.
I'm now an orphan.
Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents.
Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?
Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?
Son: Mom, what is money made of?
Mom: Paper.
Son: Where does paper come from?
Mom: . . .
I saw a kid crying, so I asked them where their parents were.
God, I love working at an orphanage!
You should always be happy about family and love.
My sister's boyfriend is pissed cuz I fucked his girl.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Your mom wants to tell you that you're adopted, but you were an orphan.
What is an orphan's favorite video game?
"Who's Your Daddy?"
So I was at home, and I went to take a shower, and I accidentally walked in on my brother having sex with some girl. So I left. A couple minutes later, I needed my headphones to listen to music, so I asked my mom where she was. She told me she was in the shower. Our house only has one bathroom. Sweet home Alabama.
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they can't put a house.
So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"
Why can't he say that?
Answer: He works at an orphanage.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.