Family

Family jokes

Why can't orphans close their video games?

Because they can't find the home button.

Doctor: Hands husband his baby.

Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.

Husband: Then give me the one she made.

Me: MOM, I'm tired.

Mom: Take a nap.

Me: No, I can't sleep if Dad isn't here.

Mom: *hangs picture of dad on her room wall* Well, now you can.

Why was the ant so confused? Because all his uncles were ants.

Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?

Son: No, I got 1k already.

Mom: Wait, what, how?

Son: Mom's wallet is magic.

Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?

Me: Oh, good, you?

Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.

You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.

Why couldn't the twins never do anything right?

Because they were triplets!

Why can’t an orphan play games with a full house in them? Because they don’t know what a full house is.

When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."

I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.

Why do I call my priest daddy?

Because he raped my mom when she was 13. She's 27 now.

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