Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.
Family Jokes
An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"
The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"
Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.
Patient: It runs in the family.
Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
Me: *in a family meeting*
Mom: Ok guys...
Me in my mind: BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA
Yo mama!
Why can't orphans close their video games?
Because they can't find the home button.
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.
Me: MOM, I'm tired.
Mom: Take a nap.
Me: No, I can't sleep if Dad isn't here.
Mom: *hangs picture of dad on her room wall* Well, now you can.
Why was the ant so confused? Because all his uncles were ants.
Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?
Son: No, I got 1k already.
Mom: Wait, what, how?
Son: Mom's wallet is magic.
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
Why couldn't the twins never do anything right?
Because they were triplets!
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they come back.
Why can’t an orphan play games with a full house in them? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
Incest. A game the whole family can play.
When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."
