Family

Family jokes

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Brother: Your nuts!

Sister: What do you mean? You're the one that has the nuts!

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

I got the joke from my brother.

Kid: Hi Mum!

Mum: Hi, Loser!

Kid: Why?

Mum: You loser, why? Hahaha!

Kid: Waaaaaaa!

I know this is not funny, but who cares?

Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."

When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"

Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.

So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."

My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.

One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.

My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.

Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?

Because for them, love isn't an open door.

Son: Mom, can I get $100 for a week?

Mom: Why do you need $100 for a week?

Son: I'm going on a date, and I need $100 for a week, please.

Mom: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Go on your date now. You got $1, so go.

Son: And you got $0.00.

Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.

David: Isn't that illegal?

Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.

David: I hate my life.