Family jokes
Mom!
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
Teacher: If you keep talking over me, I'll call your parents!
Orphan: You will?
Brendon, just shut up, no one was talking to you on the fucking joke! And my sis is not a female dog. If she was, then how the hell would she spell!
My uncle said he wants to be a dinosaur. I said why... he said so I could be extinct 😭😭
Why do orphans go to church?
Why?
To finally call someone "father."
What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.
What's the difference between you, your uncle, and your dad?
One didn't go in the closet.
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍
Roses are red, violets are violet.
My grandad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.
Why does the orphan not buy milk?
That's what their parents are doing.
A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asked what that was for.
"It is for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"
Why can't orphans go to parents' evening? Because their parents left them.
Your forehead is like my dad.
Non-existent.
I started crying when my dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Yo mama is so skinny, she can dodge raindrops.
Hi! I’m going back home.
Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.
What’s an orphan’s favorite holidays? Mothers’ and Father’s Day.