Family jokes

Why don’t you peel a banana?

It’s too hard to kill your nana.

I like my kids how I like my lights, Hanging from the ceiling.

What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?

Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.

Why do orphans like boomerangs?

Because then they can play catch.

I have so many orphan jokes. I'm afraid most of them won't hit home.

Why do I have a fat mom?

Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.

Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!

Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!

Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!

Why can’t orphans eat cereal with milk? Cause mummy never gave them some.

Why can’t an orphan play baseball?

They don’t know where home is.

Why do orphans eat cereal with water?

'Cause mommy never gave them some.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They don't know where home is.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple got chosen.

Why didn't the orphan go home?

Because he didn't have a home.

What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"

Miscarriage.

Your nan's gay.

What's orphans favorite game to play?

GTA5 because they want to be wanted!

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.

Why do orphans love Christmas?

Because they build a home.

Mom!