Little Johnny's sister, Suzy, sees her mom in the shower and asks, "What is that between your legs?" Her mom responds, "That is my garage." The next day, Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day, Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands, Suzy?" Suzy says, "Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off."
Family Jokes
"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."
I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.
I walked to the milk store and did not see my dad.
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
Stop the orphan jokes!
Mom!
My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”
What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why did the orphan chase the family? Because he was jealous that he did not have a family.
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"
And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"
And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.
My family was like dinosaurs when they got COVID.
They both went extinct.
What did the orphan say to the house? Can I live here?
Why do orphans like to go to church?
Because they can finally call someone "father!"
You know that you f**k better than dad?
I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)
A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.
Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find their way home.
