Family jokes
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked.
Yo mama is so stupid, she took her dog to the vet because she thought he had a tube of lipstick stuck between his legs.
Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?
Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.
Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
Spider-Man, because it told them there was no way home.
Q: What can't teachers say to orphans?
A: "I'm calling your parents!"
Why can't orphans call their friends?
Because they don't have a home phone!
Do you know the phrase, "One man's trash is another man's treasure?" Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
"I want to kill my family."
-realizes-
If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.
Why can't orphans go on school trips?
"Parents signature _________"
Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?
Because they don't know what age rate they are...
Orphans are funny cuz all they do is sing "We Are Family."
I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.
What do orphans, parents, and Nemo have in common?
Neither can be found.
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.
Orphan: Go on then.
Me: Your family tree.
Why can’t orphans have an iPhone?
Because they can’t find the home button!
What does Nemo have in common with my dad?
They both can't be found.