Family jokes
What kind of flour do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked.
Yo mama is so stupid, she took her dog to the vet because she thought he had a tube of lipstick stuck between his legs.
Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?
Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.
Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
Spider-Man, because it told them there was no way home.
Q: What can't teachers say to orphans?
A: "I'm calling your parents!"
Why can't orphans call their friends?
Because they don't have a home phone!
Do you know the phrase, "One man's trash is another man's treasure?" Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
"I want to kill my family."
-realizes-
If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.
Why can't orphans go on school trips?
"Parents signature _________"
Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?
Because they don't know what age rate they are...
Orphans are funny cuz all they do is sing "We Are Family."
I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.
What do orphans, parents, and Nemo have in common?
Neither can be found.
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.
Orphan: Go on then.
Me: Your family tree.
Why can’t orphans have an iPhone?
Because they can’t find the home button!