Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
Family Jokes
I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.
Your mum. That's all I need to say.
What do orphans have in common with mute children?
They can't talk to their parents.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't have a home plate.
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
Why can't orphans do it?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Joe Mama so fat that when Santa came to our house he said, "Ho ho HOLY SHIT, she damn thick."
I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"
They didn't reply.
I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...
Why are orphans always so successful? Because when they're told "go big or go home," they only have one option.
I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.
If you kill someone, that's murder.
If you kill a family member, that's still murder.
If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."
So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.
What's the difference between apples and orphans? The apples get picked, XD!
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
Why was an orphan loving school?
Because the people actually came back.
Q. What does Kenny get when he hugs his mom?
A. A boner.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
